The cancer card.

When, where, why do I play my cancer card? I  got half off acupuncture treatment yesterday due to my cancer status so there was that. I got my cellphone bill reduced the month I was was diagnosed because I was on the phone nonstop with friends, docs and insurance companies. Of course, the cancer card combined with the unemployment card really ups my odds. Max and I got a pass to the front of the very long customs line in Mexico by playing my cancer card.  Saved us about an extra hour at least at the airport.  The rare times I'm up for company or visitors, my very wonderful friends and family always treat for lunch, dinner, bring me snacks, carry up my laundry, help run my errands. Thanks, peeps!  Max pampers me by giving me massages and rubbing stretch mark lotion on my ever expanding super heavy boobs.    I'm going to continue to play this cancer card as long as possible but truthfully, it's a card I wish I'd never been dealt.  Too bad you don't get the option to fold like in a poker game.  Just look at your cards and toss them away.  Now that would be the way to go.  "oh, look, I got the cancer card.  No way I'm playing that one..would be crazy to place a bet on that.  Think I'll just fold and move on to the next hand.  Oh, look, unemployment..hmm..don't think I'll play that either. Ok, this is gonna be the one--allergic to pain meds so i itch all over and am still in pain card, don't think so.  Ok, dealer, show me some love....I'm ready for that Royal Flush.