It has been 10 months now since I swerved to avoid a drunk driver flying at me at a high speed in my lane against the flow of traffic.
Since my last incredibly convoluted and lengthy entry which made my head spin looking back on it, I have some updates. I can't believe any of you managed to read that through to the end because I couldn't even get through it once I looked back at the published version. That was just another up close and personal look into what goes on in my head on the daily.
Anyhoo, I'll try to make this one more manageable. It's no surprise that my level of anger, irritability, confusion and frustration has reached a level that is all consuming. This has both fueled me into action as well as exhausted me and continued to make me feel erased and victimized.
I have had a personal injury attorney since last August, a civil attorney. That is all still hanging in the balance with insurance companies. The state of FL specifically the state's attorney office is handling the criminal case which is a DUI case of the State of Florida vs. the person that caused injuries to my body, my brain and damage to my vehicle. He was arrested and charged with a DUI, not yet convicted because the trial is set for just 2 weeks from now if theres not another postponement.. From last August up until April I was being considered a victim in this case. I did not find out until mid April that the state attorney assigned to my case removed me as a victim and changed my status to simply a witness, after they requested my victim impact statement to corroborate my mountain of medical and dental records, loss wage statements, report from Honda after replacing the tire that got destroyed from me having to forcefully fly up over the curb to avoid him, accident crash report, 911 call, the list goes on.
Why? That's an answer I still have not received a clear response to. Apparently the tree he hit is what what is considered the damage to another property or person listed in his charges. I went down to the courthouse and sat outside the courtroom of the state prosecutor handling my case. I waited for him to come out and asked him why? I did not get a very clear answer other than our vehicles didn't technically collide. However, it was only through his negligence that I have had to have my life, health and livelihood completely uprooted. Because I took action to save my own life from a drunk driver and narrowly avoid him forcing my vehicle up over the curb onto the shoulder resulting in a devastating acceleration deceleration diffuse axonal brain injury along with injury to my body, teeth, vehicle and eventual loss of my ability to work while i was being treated and until I receive the additional treatment I need.
I left that meeting in tears feeling misunderstood, unheard and completely baffled. I had asked him to further review things and questioned if i was able to be reconsidered as a victim. He said he would look into it. I followed up with an email that included the following:
There is one question I would like a simple yes or no answer to that I don't think I asked in the most direct manner this afternoon.
Is it the opinion of the state of Florida that the injuries I sustained on August 11, 2022 were completely unrelated to any actions of(insert offender name) .or yet to be determined crimes he committed? Is the state of Florida maintaining the stance that the injuries I suffered that night and continue to suffer from are in no way a direct result of (insert offender name) negligence, DUI, or wet reckless driving, whatever the outcome ends up to be?
If the answer is yes to those questions , I am reiterating that I believe the state of Florida judicial system has completely failed me by not recognizing me as a victim that is deserving of restitution. Furthermore, if the answer is yes, I will hold forever the belief that Florida possesses a very flawed system and that I have been served a complete injustice by a state that I had hoped would support me, the one innocent and injured party in this entire scenario.
As said to you earlier, it is my hope that my voice be heard and that my health and quality of life matter to the state I began supporting when I became a resident in 2020. I am now greatly disappointed that it seems that criminals are awarded more leniency and mercy than the innocent in cases such as mine. In no way were the events that occurred resulting in my injuries on August 11, 2022 NO ONE'S FAULT.
Well, I never received a response to my yes or no question, just a response saying they looked at things again and I still wasn't being considered a victim. However, I did receive a subpeona after that to appear as a witness at the trial.
I have since contacted an advocate from Mothers Against Drunk Driving who was baffled by this as well after hearing my story as were her superiors. But without me being named a victim, their resources for me are limited. I also contacted a crime victim advocate from Sarasota County who in turn connected me with a victim advocate from the Sheriff's Department. The advocate from the Sheriff's department has been attempting to contact the officer who wrote up the initial report. As of yet, I do not know if this has been done. She did reach out to the state prosecutor handling my case and reported back to me that she fought to get me included as a victim but the state prosecutor still said no. The reasoning was that there was not enough evidence to include me. Well, that certainly doesn't add up. I still need and deserve an explanation. She was very kind and sympathetic, obviously this is out of her hands, and offered to set up a conference meeting, either on the phone or in person that would include the state prosecutor, me and herself in order for me to get a firsthand response from the prosecutor as to what is "not enough evidence".
I have questions I deserve answers to. Before that night, I had never been under the routine care of a chiropractor in the 2 years I'd lived in Florida, I'd never in my life seen a neurologist or nueropsychologist. I had never had an MRI or DTI of my brain, I did not have chipped and moved teeth with evidenced before and after pictures once my brain fog cleared for a moment to notice. I have never slurred my speech or stuttered routinely. I was never unable to form sentences or remember words or objects. I had never had a migraine type headache, never been a routine headache sufferer in general. Before that night, I did not have a punctured tire or bruises on my body aligning with the buckles of a seatbelt among other places. I was not sensitive to bright lights or loud sounds, had no ringing in my ears or constant head pressure. It had been years since i had a nosebleed let alone repeated ones, memory loss, have issues with depth perception, peripheral vision, spatial awareness, reading, writing, watching tv, loud music.
Before that night, I had no tingling in my extremities, no tongue that deviated to one side, no nystagmus in my eyes. I had never been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury, especially the type that can only occur specifically as a result of an acceleration/deceleration incident. I was able to work without physical pain and cognitive difficulty and be successful at my job.
Before that night, I had never had to put post it notes all over my house reminding me to brush my teeth, turn off the stove, check that the fridge was closed. It had been a long time since I had experienced that much physical pain. I have never had issues with executive function. I never panicked in a grocery store or had to wear my keys around my neck. I actually had muscle tone and wasn't randomly peeing myself from urinary incontinence. Sometimes with the occasional sneeze or fit of laughter, but not just at random. I never knew what a hyperbaric chamber was let alone been in one. I need to be in one a lot more to help with my recovery but I can't afford it. I am financially tapped out and just entered another month in which I will receive a past due rent notice and maybe an eventual eviction notice if I can't manage once again to scramble to get current. When the money is there, I choose my dental payment, my car and health insurance, my cellphone, my loan payment, my credit card bills, my supplements., gas, electricity., internet. The list goes on. For the state prosecutor to tell me there was not enough evidence supporting that all I had experienced was not a direct result of this accident is an absolute injustice and insult. All of these things were just a string of unusual and completely random coincidences? Seriously? I deserve. Justice. How many other people in this stupid No Fault State are in my same situation? I'm curious to find out. And I bet the answer is staggering.
At this point, I am completely unaware if this asshole even knows the extent of my injuries. I am wondering how I am supposed to give witness testimony that doesn't include how this man has robbed me of a life free of stress, pain, injury and complete financial devastation. I'm going to share my story in that courtroom no matter how many times i may get an objection because I will be there to tell the whole truth and the truth is that I deserve restitution. There is no world in which it makes any sense that what happened to me on that night and is still ongoing is not the fault of this other driver. I am not going to be quiet anymore. Would he not be considered at fault if he was drunk and ran a red light? if i was walking across the street and he ran a light illegally while intoxicated, if i had to run to get out of the way of his car and tripped and sustained brain and bodily injury, would that not be his fault? Without my testimony as a victim, I will never receive monetary compensation for my out of pocket medical and dental expenses, lost wages, or future treatments still needed. I will have been erased by the state of Florida as deserving of restitution from the Florida Victim Compensation Fund. More importantly, no jury or judge will even be allowed to hear my testimony or see the evidence on my side, let alone rule on it. That's just fucked up.
I was supposed to get a call back on Monday from the victim advocate to schedule this meeting and it is now Wednesday and nothing. I left a voicemail this morning. Again, she was incredibly kind and caring, but the waiting continues and the waiting has gotten to me.
And so the frustration builds. Another day has passed without promised calls or answers or the ability to schedule treatments for recovery. Just some more eye strain, head pressure and talking in circles with no one listening.
Til next time....I really can't wait to get past the angry phase and get to some funny or uplifting stuff or maybe even some good news. I know healing is possible but I'm digging out of a huge hole. I'm terrified that I won't get the treatment I need in the time that i need it and am fearful of further regression. A brief thanks for now to anyone who did reach out. Please keep it up. I need your words of encouragement and support. What a lonely and scary time this has been.
Geez. So much for what I thought would be a shorter entry. I really do need to follow through with my promise of a video blog. I've never done it but i will at some point...no one deserves to read this much crap.
Peace out, peeps. Don't drink and drive.
And yeah...I noticed there are at least 3 different fonts in this entry and i can't figure out how to deal with fixing that right now.
